GNOME ENTERPRISES

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ALVERNE GAZETTE VOL 1

TWELVE THOUSAND CAKE MILES

     People have different ideas about what constitutes the heart of a marriage ceremony, that key moment that seals the lifelong bond. For some it is the sunlight pouring through a stained glass window on to a lovely bride, for others the sob of emotion that springs as the organ rolls, for others still the softly whispered “I do.” For Jean it is cake and it must be admitted that there are at least two couples she knows who, in her eyes, are living in sin after cakeless ceremonies.

    Bearing this in mind and also being acquainted with that little known fact that cake improves with altitude, Margaret and Barry arranged for their son to marry a beautiful Australian, in Australia, and themselves carried the requisite slice 12,000 miles back in a cordless aeroplane (i.e. Not attached to the ground for the majority of the flight) We can only wish Andrew and Anna well in their new life together.

 

 

 

NORMAN LENDS A HAND

St. John’s has a very high hook for the hymn board and a rather short lady in charge of hanging it up. Would Norman help? Of course he would. Seizing the board he marched off to the hook but once underneath could not see it.

The congregation began to gesture upwards which he naturally interpreted as an instruction to move on.

“No no,” we signalled. “You are there; just reach up.”

 Finally, as the procession began to emerge from the vestry, Norman spotted the hook, swung the board up and all the numbers fell out. Gazing helplessly around he then saw several ladies retrieving the cards while others tried to copy the board down the other end. But where was the five? Frantic searchings under pews proved vain. The organist was beginning to trill. Nice lady zoomed out to the back where spare numbers are kept, emerged with two fives - she knew her Norman - and in a trice all was well.