GNOME ENTERPRISES

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GOLDEN MOMENTS FROM THE ALVERNE GAZETTE VOLUME TWO

September 1999

PLAY FOR TODAY :  A HERO OF OUR TIMES

Scene One - The men's department of M&S. J & N have just arrived by taxi, N not yet being well enough to drive or stand at a bus stop.

N. There aren’t any sports jackets. They don’t make them any more. It’s useless.

J makes no reply and merely marches over to racks of sports jackets.

N. Horrible. No use. Couldn’t wear those. Don’t make my style any .........

J makes no reply and merely marches across to the ranks of Norman’s style of sports jacket.

N. Won’t be big enough..

J silently hands him a 46”jacket

N. Sleeves are too short. Always the same. No wonder; it says medium..

J silently hands him a 46” long

N. (reluctantly) That's not too bad but the sleeves are still a bit....

J finds him a 48” long

N. I have to admit that’s all right. I was going to get some trousers too but this is probably enough suffering for one day.

J silently marches over to the trousers.

Scene Two - the trouser section. Reprise of Scene One only about trousers.

Scene Three - socks. As above.

Scene Four - the taxi. J and N are surrounded by M&S bags.

N. I really enjoyed that. I could get used to buying clothes.

 

October 1999  IN SICKNESS AND IN MELDREW

   Jean and Norman treated themselves to a meal in the Saigon on September 1st after a somewhat gruelling trip to the Royal Free. A bus packed so tight the driver closed the doors on half the queue, inching its way in solid traffic with the temperature in the eighties, was not a totally enjoyable experience.

    The doctor pronounced Norman to be still alive which was quite remarkable since Jean had been very close to killing him in the preceding hour. Everyone else in the waiting room was bearing the delays with a patient shrug but not our Norman.

 “They’ve lost some of my forms......… I knew there’d be a cockup.............… Look she hasn’t got time to chase them up...… I’ll never be seen........… I’ll lose my place in the queue...........… he came in after me........… Look at her pushing in...........I’m going to ask to be seen without all my notes ... .I’ll give them another quarter of an hour............. ten minutes............… If I don’t keep reminding her.................”

   After all that it seemed very reasonable to spend the money they didn’t hand over to cab drivers on crispy duck, squid and lots of wine.